Today started off with an unique tweet which resulted into a dossier of ideas from people far & near. The idea was simple:
“How do you know Twitter has gone mainstream in India?”
Then what followed was really interesting & overwhelming. Before I list down 100+ ways ideas to know that Twitter has gone into mainstream, I should mention couple of things.
I started off with an usual question in twitter as listed above with a hashtag #twitindistream to give it a common direction. Then people poured in lots of ideas in which some are actually possible whereas some were insanely funny. Then the hashtag #twitindistream got into the top 10 trending list of twitter for almost 3 hours. Below are the screen I took then about the trending topics:
Click on the image above
So here are the 100+ ideas (not in any order):
1. When real @lkadvani uses a smartphone in public to tweet.
2. When autowallah’(auto-rickshaw) tweet a joke you just cracked..
3. When my techtard GF asks me about twitter
4. When my boss fires me through a tweet and later hands a official confirmation letter.
5. When Twitter is used as a source in mainstream media to validate news like Rajdeep Sardesai using twitter as source in media.
6. All early twitter adopters & lovers leave twitter when everyone’s distant uncle also uses it & pesters you on HOWTO use it.
7. When you get DM like “Hi. wanna be friends . I am good in school”
8. When you set twitter as your homepage of your computer.
9. When you hear girls talking about Twitter in #CCD and how they keep a check on their BF’s with it.
10. When a beggar tweets 4 begging; you RT instead of asking him to go ahead, then one user offers him help and reply his tweet!!
11. When newspapers have a separate section called “What’s Hot from Twitterverse”.
12. When agencies coming out with internet usage report have a twitter usage section.
13. When even *lala* companies have a genuine twitter handle.
14. When Amitabh Bachchan or Shahrukh Khan is caught tweeting in public and people start stalking them on twitter and newspapers splashes it.
15. When report suggests that “Mobile sales has gone up because of this unique geek service called Twitter”
16. When a movie called “Kaho na Tweet hain..” releases and its a major blockbuster hit.
17. When people around you uses WTF, #FAIL, ROFL, FTW terminologies to your surprise.
18. SS, MNS start tweeting from the places they are wrecking -> Just broke a shopper’s stops glass door, kaay majja aali [In english - What fun]
19. Twitter releases its service in 18 languages including tamil, telugu, malayalam, hindi and marathi!
20. When *twitter* becomes a noun rather than a verb in official dictionary.
21. When people starts tweeting “your pic is very nice, wanna make frandship”.
22. When a guy asks his future wife about her twitter handle and disqualifies her on grounds of non-twit existence & vice-versa.
23. When government applications ask for twitter names along with email IDs and phone numbers.
24. When a book on Twitter is authored by an Indian and it goes into the best selling list in Crosswords.
25. When you name your child as Twitter instead of Ram, Rahul or Raj.
26. When you start giving gaalis (Slang) in marathi – tujhya aayela… me follow karnar twitter var!
27. When twitter handle replaces CVs when applying for naukris (jobs).
28. When someone slaps you on twitter because you followed a girl that he was “interested” in.
29. When Barkha Dutt chooses to tweet on her BB before going live on NDTV.
30. (Farfetched but who cares!) When the “Ashoka Chakra” is replaced by @india
31. When India adopts the middle name concept. Only that the middle name is your twitter name.
33. When a minister says at a Press conference “As I tweeted it yesterday morning.. all these allegations are baseless”.
34. When your mother-in-law greets you pleasantly with twitter handle.
35. When Kaamwali bais (house maids) create a hashtag and bitch about their memsaabs.
36. When a major law suit takes twitter reference as evidence. Bwahahah!
37. When you have more twitter friends online than offline.
38. India’s most tech savvy politician starts a new party – Rashtriya Tweeple Sangh (RTS).
39. When BF/Husband organizes food safari/TwEAT up (he has to cook on his own) every weekend for his GF/Wife.
40. When you use twitter friends or some twitter alert app to remind you of all important meetings, dates etc.
41. When your whole family goes for a tweetup in the neighborhood.
42. When Government keep a “special twitter day” and declares it a national holiday.
43. When people use twitter to vote out corrupt a$$holes from even contesting elections.
44. When TRP of Television serials will be based on number of tweet it gets.
45. When parents say ‘Beta vaha pohachte hi Twitter karna’ [Son, tweet as soon as you reach...]
46. When Amitabh, Aamir and SRK have their own Twitter accounts and it becomes the Breaking News on Aaj Tak.
47. When railway stations will announce via twitter rather than by loudspeakers.
48. When ‘Hand’ is replaced by’@Handle‘ as the new logo of Congress.
49. When Abhishek fights with Salman and Vivek for Tweeting Aishwarya too much.
50. When our leaders ask for ‘Tweevotes‘ instead of ‘Votes’ during elections.
51. When visitng cards will have Twitter handles @handle instead of email ids.
52. When people vote with their tweet.
53. When every minute working of PM office and CM office will be tweeted in order to maintain transparency.
54. When the President announces a stamp or a coin with twitter emblem on top of it.
55. When the twitter birdie marries a male twitter birdie and we all attend the ceremony.
56. When guys will get dumped by their girls for not giving them ‘Twitterspace’.
57. When @sampad becomes famous because of this initiative ROFL [nevermind]
58. When mainstream media takes cues from this and prints all the ideas along with original twitter handles.
59. When a minister will tweet his resignation and send a DM to CM with plea not to accept the resignation.
60. When #Reliance will launch a company named BIGtwit.
61. When all the major CXO’s use twitter handle as sign offs in their outgoing emails.
62. When Re-Tweeting (RT) without prior permission will be considered as crime as per copyright law.
63. When parents use Twitter account in their daughter’s name to find a match for her.. and she doesn’t know about it.
64. When Aamir, SRK and Akshay use Twitter to promote their next big budget films.
65. WHen IIM’s ask students to appear for CAT on Twitter.
66. When every official communication will be limited to only 140 chars, including PR communication.
67. When every bollywood movie will have a twit version for those who are short of time.
68. When Indian IT compannies will ban all the sites which use Twitter.
69. When school exams will say ‘Answer in Twitter’ instead of ‘Answer in Brief’.
70. When next corporate scam T(P)ress release happens in twitter.
71. When more people start proposing on twitter.
72. When employess get fired for wasting too much time on Twitter.
73. When the TTE checks tickets and ids via twitter – TweetTickCheck.
74. When Election Commissioner announces Twitter Poll, and your twitpic gets a black twitmark to indicate u have voted.
75. When this blog post gets *fukat (free) footage* across mainstream media.
76. When someone live tweets his/her intimate moments just to get famous.
77. When TM will stand for Twitter Mark instead of Trade Mark.
78. When Indian post will launch T-post seva for those who don’t have access to twitter.
79. When twitterverse will be considered a parallel economy and people outside it will be considered an alien.
80. When Political Manifesto will be ‘Roti, Kapda, Makaan aur Twitter’ for aam aadmi.
82. When texting teens & tweens discover it.
83. When MNS will make it mandatory to type all Tweets in Marathi.
84. When I can order my #Pizza via twitter. And my mom can order her groceries via twitter.
85. When Twitter birdie becomes the next face of a brand like #Vodafone Pug but with permission.
86. When postman knocks at the door and says ‘Aaapka Tweet aaya hai’ [you tweet has come].
87. Twitter opens up a new TV channel with news coming from Hourly tweets.
88. The channel has a reality show called ‘Kaun Banega TwitterPati’.
89. When people join launage courses to learn new langauge – Twittsh.
90. Some time later an award winnig movie is released, called ‘TwitterDog Millionaire‘.
91. When PM addresses a Tweet Conference to the entire nation on Twitter.
92. When India hands over Tweets of terrorists as proof to Pak and Pak accepts it.
93. When people “tweet” instead of “order” food, groceries, DVDs, movie tickets etc.
94. When reality shows ask people to vote using tweet instead of SMS.
95. When Twitter becomes synonymous with social media in India.
96. When twitter is the topic of discussion between Obama & Indian PM in the next meeting.
97. When Ekta Kapoor makes a new serial ‘Kahani Twitter Twitter Ki‘ and will get highest TRPs (Twitter Rating Points).
98. When twitter saves the world from present recessionary gloom. You know how? I’m talking of more #Dell $1 Mn examples.
99. When Mumbai university introduces a new subject in colleges ‘Tweetology‘… and makes it compulsory.
100. When management colleges opens a new elective called “Tweetagement“.
101. … and Nobel prozes would be given for Tweetonomics.
102. When we have an Indian Twitterer like @scobleizer….
103. When a book is released ‘100 Signs of Twitter becoming mainstream in India‘ and becomes a best seller.
104. When twitter gets listed in stock exchange.
105. When self-help books like “You can twit” and “Facebooks from Mars and Twitters from Venus” sort of releases and will fill up in piles.
106. When Walkie-Talkies are replaced by Tweetie-Talkies in the army, with paandus, and other events.
107. When Indian Cricket Team has Twitter logo on their T-shirts and bats.
108. When we get paid for tweeting.
109. Amitabh ‘Mere pass gadi, bunglow hai, paisa hai.. tumhare pass kya hai?‘; Shashi Kapoor ‘Mere Pass TWITTER Hai‘.
110. When Indian advertising community uses Twitter to market products and ideas.
111. When a girl rejects a marriage proposal because the guy does not have too many followers on Twitter.
112. If real @lkadvani wins the elections and proclaims that twitter helped the cause.
113. …and opposition will be blamed for twitbot, cleanin up twitfeed n twit account hack, if election is lost!!
114. When we cross US in terms of Twitter users.
115. When people swear by twitter rather than gods & demi-gods!
116. When people start finding true match in twitter and not matrimonial sites.
These are the aggregated tweet responses on the above question till the time I posted it. Since there were so many tweeps tweeting, it would be difficult for me to reply individually but thanks guys for all those ideas.
Disclaimer: Hope everyone takes it to good humor since I’m sure no tweets were intended to harm anyone.